How did this happen?
Because I signed up to a dating site in late December, thanks to the encouragement of certain people.
It’s been an interesting experience, to say the least. I’ve spoken to a few different people on the site and even got so far as exchanging numbers with two people. One has sort of fizzled out but they’re still on my Facebook. The other actually got as far as going on a date. That’s right, I’ve actually been on a date; this is an incredible rarity for me since I struggle to socialise at all.
The bloke I went on a date with seemed interesting while we were texting but in person he was dull, so very, very dull! I should have worked out something was up when I was talking to my friend and she said, “Er’ don’t meet him, dude.” after I repeated some of the things he said. I’m really honest on my profile about being pansexual and polyamorous. Apparently, this gives the man I was texting the right to ask deeply personal questions, including whether I’d fulfil some of his fantasies about threesomes with one of his ex’s.
Er, no. It felt, at times, that he was only interested in me because he liked big women and the fact that I’m pan meant he could fulfil his fantasies. He didn’t respect boundaries even when I told him I’m not interested in discussing some things, while at the same time protesting that he’d never push my boundaries. *major eye rolling at the hypocrisy*
Then there have been the many, many times I’ve received a message saying ‘hi pretty lady, nice tits’ or something along those lines, despite me saying clearly in my profile that comments on my looks will be deleted, and that people need to message me in correct sentences and be interesting. Yes, that’s my standard for starting interaction – correct sentence structure and being interesting.
Oh, and there was the one guy who demanded a blow job. Strangely enough he got blocked and reported straight away. There was another guy who demanded an answer to his message – in which he exclaimed in flowery language that he thought I was beautiful and that he wanted to marry me (clearly showing he hadn’t read my profile) – and sent an angry message when I checked his profile and deleted his message. Needless to say, he got blocked. It’s seems to be men who think they have the right to objectify me and demand my time; so nothing unusual there then, men assuming that women must give them their attention. It does help sift out the wheat from the chaff and saves me time, except for that one guy I went on the date with – I should have listened to my friend on that one. The women and non-binary people I’ve spoken to seem to not need sifting; they actually bother to read profiles and self-select.
The people I’m talking to at the minute all seem decent sorts, I’ve been talking to some for longer than others and quite like three or four of them. Pity two of them are abroad and the other is so busy they can’t message very often.The fourth chatters away like nobodies business when he’s online. I’m considering deleting a couple of conversations with other people because they haven’t spoken to me in ages. I should change that to ‘I have deleted a couple of conversations…’ because I’ve been exchanging messages with a gent in Finland this afternoon and had a tidy up of my other messages. I’m enjoying talking to people at the minute and meeting people to expand my social circle.
Best be off, got a novel to work on.