Year One

I’ve lived on my own for a whole year now; it has not been an easy year but I like having my own space.

Other than my mental health conditions, the biggest issue I’ve dealt with is money; finding enough to pay the bills, rent and food. I’ve had to borrow a lot from family on occasion, and then try to pay it back. Even with my part time job I’m barely managing, but I’ll survive. By the end of the year I’ll know how my benefits will shape up and I’ll possibly be in a better financial situation, if I get more hours at work.

Having the dogs has also been a challenge, especially when I’m very ill, but the companionship they share is a lifesaver at times. Getting out of the house is difficult at times, especially when I’m anxious and scared to leave the house, but the dogs need their walk whatever weird stuff is going on in my head.

They cause me so much anxiety, and I have less freedom than when I lived at home. I can’t just go away for a week because I need to arrange dog sitters. I don’t mind so much, but it would help if more than one of my relatives would volunteer. I do need a change of scene occasionally.

When I lived at home and was ill, physically or mentally, mum used to look after me. Now I have to manage everything on my own, whether I’m suicidally depressed, have a migraine, the flu or am vomiting. The dogs need to go out and be fed, the house needs cleaning, etc.; I don’t think I really appreciated how much work keeping a house and garden takes. Someone else always dealt with the disasters and the bills.

I do okay though and my house is very clean.

That reminds me, time to clean the bath and put a load of washing on the line.

Must dash,

Bye

Rose

xXx

—–

Edit:

I remember now why I don’t try to do too much housework in a day. My back is rather painful.

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