Morning all, it’s stupidly early here but I have to go do four hours at my job today and I’m anxious. Thus I am awake. I don’t need to leave the house for another two and a half hours. Four hours work is really not worth this much stress.
As I may have mentioned, back in July I finally started to see a proper counselor. One of the things we identified was my tendency to forget things like eating and going outside. I’m sometimes terrified to leave the house and will stay in for days at a time. My counselor referred me to a ‘Health Trainer’. I had my first appointment a few weeks ago and I’ve got my second one on Thursday. During the meeting we discussed setting weekly goals.
My goals have been to leave the house for fifteen to twenty minutes every day and to eat three meals a day.
It’s hard but, this last week(from Saturday to yesterday) I’ve managed that four days out of seven. Last weekend I went to visit a friend so we had regular meals and went out for a walk. Monday to Wednesday this week were not good days for me mentally; I spent Monday and Tuesday mostly in bed, asleep or staring at the wall. Wednesday I woke up with a migraine. Again, much sleeping, and nausea.
Thursday and Friday were a success however. I ate three meals each day and went for a walk in the afternoon. There was plenty of napping as well, because I get exhausted easily.
I also managed to get 5200+ words written on the novel yesterday, and my mum and sister lent me some cash so I have food in the house now. My other sister is going to so some batch cooking and bring portions round for me. I’d say it was a reasonably successful day, except for the pain in my back and hip from pulling the shopping trolley back (it’s Mum’s ‘old lady’ trolley, she donated it to me, to stop me ringing up for a lift every time I need food). Painkillers and naptime helped though so it’s not too painful this morning.
I’m going back to sleep now I’ve rambled on a bit.
Edit – I have only had two meals today and I did leave the house. To go to work. And then I came straight home again. I’m not doing well with these goals am I? Tomorrow is another day, and I have belly pork and veg planned for Sunday dinner 😀