What a lovely Sunday morning; chilly but bright.
The first task my therapist set me was is to keep a worry diary for a day. Somehow it’s extended to the whole weekend. I want to see if any patterns emerge such as times I worry most, or things that are particularly worrying to me.
So far I’ve noticed that while some of my feelings are specific, such as visiting the doctor tomorrow, much of it is generalised, unspecified anxiety about life. I get a suffocating feeling, I can’t breathe.
I feel better now but when I woke up this morning it was with a sense of dread about the day. I didn’t have anything planned for today, but I have now. I’m going to be busy reading a new book. I might do some work on the novels too or work on a new short story that’s bubbling away quietly at the back of my mind.
I had to pull together this plan over the last couple of hours; having nothing planned does make me anxious. Nothing to do = I’m supposed to be doing something but I forgot what it was, so I’ve let someone down who’ll be angry with me OR = too much time alone to think about my failings and how much of a disappointment I must be to my family.
On a cheerier note, I got an email yesterday from a magazine I sent a reader’s letter to as part of my creative writing course assignment, they want to publish it in their next issue. Last night I also submitted an article to Lincolnshire Life for their June issue. I had a 1200 – 1400 word count and I managed to get my article in at 1377 words. I learned quite a lot about two specific British Army regiments attached to Lincolnshire in the 1800’s during my research for that article. It was fascinating. Now I suppose I should find another magazine and submit a selection of article ideas. Who next?
Right, I’m going now, have an excellent Sunday,