Evening all, I’ve had a bit of a dodgy day but I’m back on the up now.
So much anxiety, so little time for tears.
But I don’t want to talk about it; I’ve got the things that were stressing me today sorted, mostly, and I want to think about something else. I’ve been sewing this evening, I’m making a new tablecloth for the coming spring. It’s quite pretty. It helped distract me from my anxiety.
Last Friday I had my third meeting at Open Minds; I am less impressed by my treatment as the weeks pass. In my first meeting I had an assessment, in the second we discussed my anxiety and I had homework, which I completely misunderstood because the therapist didn’t explain properly. And my third meeting (of a maximum of eight) was five minutes of the therapist popping in and out of the room. I’ve been given an ‘anxiety diary’ to fill in for a day that I have to take back when I have my next appointment.
I feel like I’m not getting anywhere, or getting the right support. They’re focusing on my anxiety problems without really looking for causes, coping mechanisms, or my depression and how the two conditions interact.
I was promised anxiety management techniques, where are my anxiety management techniques?
I may have mentioned I’ve had CBT before. It was sod all use the first time, so I’m not holding my breath for any better results this time round. It feels like we’re just going through the motions and my medical conditions aren’t being treat seriously. There seems to be a ‘one size fits all’ attitude to CBT, or at least the way it’s administered here. There needs to be more focus on individuals and their specific conditions, and continued treatment for as long as the patient needs the support.
Unfortunately, my local health authority offer a six to eight session course of treatment with Open Minds, with a focus on CBT, and medication, to treat mental health conditions. Eight sessions isn’t going to be enough, since my therapist can’t even decide what to tackle first. I was the one who decided that my anxiety was the place to start. She’s still not sure, even though we’re halfway through my alloted 6 to 8 sessions.
I’m trying my best to deal with everything, but the ineffective therapy, complacency from my doctor and external stress caused by the DWP and HMRC, and the local council benefits section, taking an age to sort out my ESA payments and housing benefit payments, really doesn’t help. I went to visit a friend at the weekend and spent the entire on the edge of tears from anxiety about a dozen different things, and generally feeling low.
Depression is a bitch, anxiety is as bad; mental health services around here don’t help at all.