21st February 2015

Morning all,

I’m beginning to recover from my bronchitis; I went to the doctor on Thursday and they checked. My lungs are no longer crackling but the cough might last another couple of weeks.


It was a productive trip to the doctors in other ways too. My sister came with me and made a point of discussing some of my behaviours that I hadn’t mentioned, like the wild mood swings and my occasional violent outbursts. I’ve been signed off sick for a month and the doctor is trying to get me a referral to the psychiatric specialist at a local hospital so that I can have a proper assessment. My sister said those magic words ‘bipolar disorder’ and apparently convinced the doctor that there was some evidence to back her up. So I’m waiting to hear about that now.

Also, my sister has been doing some research and believes my condition qualifies me as being disabled on mental health grounds. So she got me to apply for PIP, that’s Personal Independence Payment, which is a benefit that replaces Disability Living Allowance. I have to fill in forms and have medical assessments. I just hope I won’t have to go over to Hull for this one. I’ve also applied for ESA, so more forms to complete.

I just want to get on with life. At the moment I feel like I’m in limbo; I’m not able to work full time because of my condition, I don’t like claiming benefits but I can’t afford not to. Even working part time I’d have to claim housing and council tax benefit just to pay the rent.

I went to see my MP yesterday about the circumstances of my last job ending. He wasn’t very helpful. I’m still waiting to hear from my agency about their investigation. I know I haven’t said much about what happened, at least not here, but in short I was forced to resign. I’d gone to work while heading into a depression and had a bad reaction to being at work. I asked to go home, was cornered by the operations manager and bullied into resigning. It was awful and I was a mess. I’m writing a post that documents everything that has happened and has happened since. It’s going to be a long one.


In much cheerier news, I’m writing a feature for a local magazine about the anniversary of the Battle of Waterloo, and actually getting paid for it! I’m excited and terrified at the same time.

I have also been in touch with a local fantasy author, Lynette Creswell, about an interview for this blog; I have to get the details sorted out with her. Further news on that soon.

And finally, my daffodils have started to flower. I planted them last November with some tulips and anemones. It makes me happy seeing them bobbing in the breeze even when I wake up to a frost as I did this morning.

Must go, got a friend coming to visit and I have a loaf of bread to bake for them yet.

Published by

R Cawkwell

Hi I'm Rosemarie and I like to write. I write short stories and longer fiction, poetry and occasionally articles. I'm working on quite a few things at the minute and wouldn't mind one day actually getting published in print.

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