Today started out well; I received a letter in the post from my friend SH in Finland. I live getting and sending letters. Then I spent several hours reading before getting ready to visit another friend, E.
It was all going so well until someone from the agency I work for rang to ask me whether I could work six days a week at the client company. I can’t, physically and emotionally, cope with that many days a week. I said I could to five days.
I checked my emails when I arrived at E’s 40 minutes ago and there’s a message asking me to ring one of the managers about my hours. They must have emailed me within five minutes of the agency’s phone call. The manager who emailed wasn’t in the office when I rang, so I rang the other manager, and she doesn’t know what manager 1 has planned. Arse from elbow, they do not know.
I expect a phone call in the morning. This is making me a touch anxious. Manager 1 has always been able to manipulate me in to agreements that I’m not entirely happy with. My job is precarious at the minute – I’m agency and the factory is getting quiet ahead of closing in the summer; I don’t want to risk losing my job before I’ve found another. Manager 1 knows that, and I know he’s not afraid to get rid of staff he considers ‘not dedicated enough’ to the department.
So, yes, I’m scared that he’ll pressure me into working more days a week than I’m comfortable doing. That I’ll have to go back to factory work or be out of work entirely if I don’t.
I feel better for writing it down and articulating my fears. They’re no longer an amorphous blob of terror but specific. Specific I can work with. When the manager rings me tomorrow I’ll be able think clearly. I hope.