Strange things happen when I procrastinate instead of write

Take yesterday morning for example.

Instead of spending the morning writing my novel I decided to do some light reading, a very well known and popular fanfic that, to save everyone’s blushes, I am not going to name. It’s a novel length work and is a great cure for boredom or when you feel the need to waste time. Anyway, in yesterday’s post I also received a book from Salt Publishing called ‘Best British Fantasy 2013’. It’s a collection of short stories by new and established British fantasy, sci-fi and horror writers.

I love short story collections, and have quite a few of the ‘Mammoth book of…’ books. The variety found in these sorts of collections is one of their attractions, and the ingenuity of short story writers always astounds me. I love to write short stories but I don’t think I’m very good at them. This collection is particularly dark and blurs the boundaries between the separate marketing classifications.

But that’s not what I wanted to talk about. Next month I’ll review it for you. No, what I wanted to talk about was the weird effect this combination of events had on my mind. I started wondering, why has nobody collected the ‘Best Fanfiction of …’? I think it would be amusing. What’s really worrying is that I started to write a list of submission rules.

They were things like ‘no real-person fics’ and ‘must be no more than 50,000 words except in very unusual circumstances’, ‘must be submitted in English although the original may be written in another language’ – that one was to include all the really good fics that aren’t written in English, oh and ‘Must have been completed between 1st January 2012 and 31st December 2013’.

The general consensus, when I shared this with friends was that I had put too much thought in to it and I really should go and do some writing. So I did.


Here’s to the fanfic writers who distract us from our work; you are saints and colossal perverts and I love you all.


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