Can people please read and leave me some feedback. I’ve got a plan for this but I want to see what people think to the first couple of thousand words.
Words! Words! Words!
‘Hey, look what I found?’ Lisa shouted at me from my former bedroom.
‘Your old diaries. From 2009 and 2010.’ She came charging out in to the sitting room where I was sorting knick-knacks.
‘Oh, really, well pack them up with those photo albums and the old calendars would you.’
‘Don’t you want to have a read. I like reading through my old journals, the ones from school are especially funny, I was such an emo!’
‘Darling you still are.’ I smiled at her as she fell in to the seat next to mine.
‘Come on, we could do with a rest. I’ll get the kettle on, we can have tea and biccies, and go through your old diaries.’
She laughed when I rolled my eyes at her. She smiled her most winsome, pathetic smile and I caved in with a laugh. It’s a good job I love her.
I knew it was a mistake the moment she opened the 2009 diary; her eyes lit up and she flashed that shit eating grin that says ‘you love me? You’re gonna hate me!’
Why? Ahh, well you see 2009 was the year of the great romance, or the start of it at least.
Diary entry: Monday 23rd November 2009
His hair is red. Not real red. Dyed, anime, shocking ‘Gerard Way’ red. He has the most amazing voice. He came in to the bookshop while I was putting some new YA books on the shelves, some dodgy vampire fic I think, erghh, mass churned out rubbish. He however has better taste. He bought a copy of ‘Flowers of Evil’ by Baudelaire. He sang to himself, he said ‘See you later, sweetheart’, he smiled. Very ‘Ville Valo’ of him, perhaps he’s a fan of HIM? I didn’t see any heartagrams though. He has a pretty smile, he got me at the smile, I couldn’t see past it, those blue eyes of his confused me, I don’t know what I said to him, or even if I gave him the right change
Ahh, what’s the use of drooling over a random pretty pretty? I’m such an idiot. My libido needs to get lost. I can’t talk to attractive men, I talk too much, or can’t say a word, I laugh too much, make an idiot of myself. No one could be remotely interested in me.
I’m so glad Lisa wasn’t working today; she’d have had a field day laughing at my stumbling. And then she would have told Jimmy!
My friends are evil to me.
Diary Entry: Tuesday 24th November 2009
Oh, gods I’m horny! It was seeing that hot guy in the shop yesterday, I slept so badly! Time for a cold shower me thinks, then shopping. I’ll have to pop in to the shop to make sure Jimmy isn’t making a mess of the place. I love him but he can be such a scruffy git at times. No wonder Lisa won’t live with him!
Diary Entry: Wednesday 25th November 2009
He was in the shop again today.
Lisa served him; he bought ‘Shakespeare’s Sonnets’ and ‘To kill a Mockingbird’.
I had a chance to look him over properly, since I didn’t have deal with him, oh god I’d love to ‘deal with him’ ; D, he wears tight black jeans and a red leather jacket. He carries a messenger bag covered in band patches and pins.
He smiled at me; I was hiding in the children’s books again. Well I suppose to be truthful I wasn’t hiding so much as tidying. Nobody bothers to tidy up, except me, all the books get put on the shelves willy-nilly. They should be alphabetised.
Lisa’s decided she in love with Jimmy again. We talked about their ‘relationship’. It’s odd, really I don’t think she want anyone’s opinion, she just want to talk to convince herself that she’s doing the right thing, and sometimes it’s just to congratulate herself.
God’s! I’ve just re-read that bit, I sound like such a harpy! I should be happy for them, they’ve been together since we were at school and it works for them I suppose. I’m going to scribble that last paragraph out.
No I’m not. This is my diary; I’ll write what I think. So, I’m a bit jealous, because no one could ever possibly love me the way Lisa and Jimmy love each other, despite their weirdness. I love them both, they’re such a support for me, I’d never have tried to start a business on my own without them!
She thinks the red haired guy is ‘cute’.
Ah Lisa, she makes me laugh so much at times. Last Saturday she wasn’t talking to Jim, but now she’s in love!? I’d worry, but it’s Lisa. Next time Jimmy forgets to get a bottle of milk she’ll probably hate him again. There is something very strange about their relationship.
And she thinks the red haired guy is hot.
Diary Entry: Thursday 26th November 2009
Oh Jimmy, I really do despair of that man sometimes! He’s messed up the till again! Seriously, I’m not letting him back on there until I’m certain he won’t fuck up, I had to spend an hour, (an hour!), this evening sorting out the mess!
Diary Entry: Saturday 27th November 2009
We were stupidly busy at work today. I shouldn’t complain, the business needs the income, but I get so tired at the minute.
I’m going out tonight, playing third wheel for Lisa and Jimmy. They want to go to the Red Dragon; there are live bands on or something.
I don’t want to go out, I hate going out, I never go to pubs.
The bands will be shit; L& J will be too wrapped up in each other to talk to me.
I’ll stand out like a sore thumb. I know the sort of bands those two like, rock, metal, loud noise and screamy music. I’m too big, tall and broad, to pull off the ‘rock chick’ look. You have to be all legs and supermodel thin to manage it.
I am not wearing a skirt. Lisa just rang, to make sure I was going to go out with them tonight. She decided to tell me all about her clothes as well. She wants me to wear a skirt. I do not wear skirts.
No one will notice me next to her anyway, I’m too boring. I can’t see what’s wrong with jeans and a clean shirt? My assets are suitably covered and I look tidy in jeans and a shirt. Besides I like my red shirt, it’s comfortable.
Lisa insists that I’m boring, that I should buy new clothes, now that we’re beginning to make a bit of money. I don’t want new stuff.
The stuff she points out when we’re shopping wouldn’t suit me. They don’t make those sort of clothes in heffalump size. My legs wouldn’t look good in a mini skirt – tartan or otherwise.
Damn! Its half seven already! Time to stop scribbling and have a shower, they’ll be here in an hour!
Diary Entry: Sunday 29th November 2009
What an awful night!
I was right, the bands were utter tripe.
I think I drank way too much; I was so bored by it all.
Next time L & J want to go out they can go by themselves.
I’m going back to sleep.
Diary Entry: Tuesday 1st December 2009
We put some decorations up in the shop, since I’m forced to pretend I give a shit about Christmas. Apparently it’s good for business, pulls in passing trade, reminds people to buy presents, same old same old.
That guy was in the shop again, Jimmy spoke to him. I’ve relented and said he can go back on the till but only if me or Lisa are around to supervise.
They talked about music. Jimmy reckons he’s something of an ‘expert’ on rock and metal, but I ain’t so sure.
The red haired guy asked if he could put up a poster in the shop window. He’s a singer, his brother plays the drums, and his best mate plays the guitar. They’re looking for a bassist and the keyboardist left last week.
Jimmy likes to think he can play the guitar, but I’ve heard him serenading Lisa! I have a pair of earplugs hidden under the till for just such an eventuality
He bought another book, but I couldn’t see what it was this time.
Jimmy wants to go to the ‘gig’. I don’t think I should go. Last Sunday was a disaster, and I don’t like going out anyway. I’ll probably be the oldest one there anyway. The oldest one there on my own probably.
Diary Entry: Wednesday 2nd December 2009
Damn! The shop is dead! What are people playing at? Don’t they know there’s only 22 days left until Xmas, they should be running around like headless chickens in the desperate search to find that ‘perfect’ gift. And where better to find such a thing than my little second hand book shop? Haha, I don’t do xmas! Just call me Scrooge, hmm, perhaps I should have a few copies of Christmas Carol out on display? I’m so bored I’m writing my diary when I should be making money Fuck it, I’m going to read some more of P& P.
OMFG!!! I’m such a geek!
The red haired guy came in again. He wanted to know if anyone had been interested in his ad for a bassist and keyboardist, or if anyone had asked about the gig.
He asked if I was going.
I think I might have said I would be.
Oh lordy! He caught me reading P&P! How uncool is that? A 25 year old reading Jane Austen? He probably thinks I’m a boring old maid.
Okay, I am, I suppose, but I can’t help it. I’m not attractive, or clever, and I know nothing about music.
See, now I’ve gone and brought myself down again. I’m going back to my book. Oh Mr Darcy! Where art thou?
Diary Entry: Friday 4th December 2009
He was in here again.
Seriously, that man must have nothing else to do. He bought another book today, Edgar Alan Poe this time. He actually tried to make conversation with me, sadly not ‘criminal conversation’ but still. Anyway, Lisa came back from her dinner break at the worst possible time!
We were discussing the emergence of e-books. He’s really clever. But I still don’t know his name.
He said ‘See you tomorrow night’ when he left. I am definitely going to that gig now. Lisa smirked at me when he left. She was looking at me all afternoon; does she know I have a thing for this guy? Oh gods I hope I’m not that obvious, I hope he hasn’t worked that out, it would be mortifying!
Diary Entry: Saturday 5th December 2009
I am NOT going tonight!!!!
I am going tonight.
I don’t have a choice, Lisa dragged me in to town. We’ve left Jim all by himself in the shop, on a Saturday. It’s going to be a disaster. Oh thank Ingui! Here comes Lisa with my coffee. We’re ‘refuelling’ before she forces me in to more shops.
I hate my friends.
Why do they do this to me?
What did I do to deserve this?
Diary Entry: Sunday 6th December 2009
I take it all back.
Lisa, you are the best friend I could ever have!
He asked me out!!!!!!!!!
His name is Matthew Johnson.
He has an engineering degree – see I said he was clever – but he works in a pub and he writes music. He wants to be a professional singer. He has a beautiful voice.
We are going to meet up tomorrow at Lacey’s for dinner.
Oh Gods! What am I going to do? I have been out with anyone since Antony in first year at Uni.
Why would he even be interested in me?
Diary Entry: Monday 7th December 2009
Well, that was interesting. So….Intense!
He’s so fascinating. We talked and talked, all the way through the meal, then we went for a walk, and talked some more.
I still don’t get what he sees in me.
Erggh, Jimmy really messed up the till again on Saturday. As flying as I was from the date, I still had to go back to work and sort it all out. Really brought me down!
Diary Entry: Wednesday 9th December 2009
I’m so tired, again!
It’s busy at last in the shop; the xmas rush seems to have started. And Matthew was on the phone until really late last night. That man is messing with my sleep patterns! Terrible!
Hah, better go, he’s come on facebook and wants to chat
‘Hey, it peters out for a while after that, all you’ve written is ‘work manic’ or ‘date with Matthew, yummy’ for weeks after. Where’s the juicy details?’
‘Maybe I’m psychic? Maybe I knew you’d get your grubby hands on my diaries one day and decided not to write anything down?’
‘Nahhh, I’d know if you were psychic. And you wouldn’t have written that stuff about me and Jimmy if you thought I’d ever read it.’
‘Damn! You caught me out once again.’ I laughed at her, there’s a reason (actually there are a thousand reasons) why Lisa is my best friend and her husband is only just behind her in the list of people I love most in the world.
‘So, why did you stop writing?’
‘I was happy. I always write diaries when I’m miserable. That winter I was too happy, and busy, to write in my diary as well.’
‘True, it was a good time wasn’t it? Come on, since I’m not going to get any details, we’d better get some more work done.’
‘Good plan that man.’
‘Oh hey. Did you hear, Matt and the lads are doing a gig at the HotSpot during their UK and Ireland Tour?’
‘Are they? That’ll be nice for his mum and dad. I saw Patricia the other day at the Co-op, she hasn’t seen her sons for a year!’
‘Doesn’t surprise me, Matthew can be such a selfish git.’
‘But Patrick wouldn’t just ignore them?’
‘Hah, we both know that Patrick does whatever Matthew tells him to do.’
‘You can be so cynical at times Lisa. It’s really rather endearing.’
Diary Entry: Friday 23rd March 2012
It’s so quiet here, I’m alone at the moment, my friends have gone for now. I a couple of weeks we’ll have a house warming party, but for now I just want to make the place home. There’s so much stuff, I didn’t realise how much there would be! The sun is so beautiful today, its only March but it’s warm, sunny, almost summery. Time to shower; I need to wash away the dust! Now, how does the boiler work again?
Diary Entry: Saturday 24th March 2012
I’ve just realised, this is the first time in a year and a half that I’ve written in a diary. This isn’t a proper diary, just a notebook Lisa brought with her yesterday. It’s funny; ever since I found my old diaries I’ve felt the need to journal again. I usually only do that when I’m unhappy but at the minute life is good. I have a thriving business, and a new home. I’m going to the rescue centre next week and I’m going to get a cat. We can’t have dogs.